When dating someone new, there is a feeling of happiness, especially when you find yourself cuddled in the arms of the right person. You begin to feel jolts of emotion striking the core of your heart. Your feelings are valid!
But what if your excitement triggers dating anxiety? You begin to feel anxious when your best buddy is around, and you don’t seem to have the ability to control your racing heart.
It could also mean your anxiety level can be pretty high in the early stages of dating someone new. You might be worried about whether you’re yourself or if you seem too eager or not excited enough.
You might have feelings about inadequacy when it comes to going out on a date, and you might feel nervous about spending time with someone new and not knowing how they feel about you yet.
In this post, there are 15 solid ways to overcome anxiety when dating someone new; Use these tips to keep your anxiety in check when dating someone new!
Here are Effortless Ways to Overcome Your Anxiety When Dating Someone New
1. Understand Why It Happens
One of the most important things when dating someone new is understanding why anxiety is such a strong feeling. It would help if you recognized why you felt anxious and what brought those feelings.
Understanding it will help you deal with it much more efficiently than if you don’t understand it.
You need to know what is happening inside your head so that you can work through these issues. It is hard to move past if you aren’t aware of why you are feeling an anxious sensation.
To have a successful relationship, we must learn how to keep our emotions in check during stressful situations.
2. Accept the Feeling
The first thing you need to know is that there’s no reason for you to feel anxious when dating someone new. What does this mean?
It means that there is nothing inherently stressful or strange about dating someone new; whether it’s your first date or fiftieth, it’s just another stage in life and (barring abuse) doesn’t have any special responsibilities or burdens associated with it.
That said, if you still feel uncomfortable, then let yourself be uncomfortable—it’s okay! You don’t have to force yourself into situations where you don’t feel comfortable.
Focus on doing things that make you happy. If they make you happy, they are good things to do. They are not good things to do if they don’t make you happy. Simple as that!
3. Get Rid of the Labels
Stressing about being in a relationship is easy for anyone, but it can be even more of a challenge if you have a social anxiety disorder.
You may be assuming too much based on your relationship status—or maybe there’s a lot of pressure on you to make things work out.
Either way, don’t let labels get in your way. If you like someone and want to give them a chance, focus on getting to know them as individuals rather than how they fit into your life at large.
You might find that dating is easier when you aren’t worried about what other people think.
It can also help to remember that everyone experiences some degree of anxiety from time to time. In fact, according to Relationships Australia, one-third of men and women suffer from severe or debilitating cases of social anxiety.
Just because you experience a bit of nervousness doesn’t mean it has any bearing on how well your date goes—and whether or not anything develops beyond dinner or drinks with a friend.
4. Find an Activity Partner
Start small if you’re anxious about getting out on a limb and dating someone new. Take up an activity that requires interacting with others – and eventually, picking up your date for lunch or coffee will feel natural as it becomes part of your routine.
This way, you won’t have to worry about going from zero-to-60 in one fell swoop; instead, you can build confidence in yourself and your relationship before taking things further.
You might even find that dating is easier than you thought! And if not, you’ll at least know what didn’t work for you – and can try something else next time.
5. Go Out Without Purpose (aka Wingman Night)
Don’t always go out with a goal. Don’t think about how many phone numbers you can get or guys you can talk to. Going out without purpose will make it more relaxing and more fun.
Sure, you might not meet anyone on wingman night. But what if you do? What if that person is everything you never knew you wanted in a partner?
The beauty of wingman night is that it allows for anything to happen. And isn’t that what dating should be all about? You don’t know until you try. Go ahead and try! You have nothing to lose, except maybe your mind!
It’s best to leave your cell phone at home when going out wingman style. This way, you won’t obsess over missed calls/texts from your crush (or parents) while trying to enjoy yourself.
6. Talk About How You Feel
Talking about how you feel is not always an easy thing to do. For instance, many people suffering from anxiety are used to feeling insecure, and they aren’t sure if they will come across as too needy or won’t be able to convey their feelings healthily.
However, talking about how you feel can go a long way. It lets you get your thoughts out there so that your partner knows what is going on with you.
It also helps your partner understand where you are coming from and gives them a chance to help alleviate some of your stress by helping you talk through it.
If things don’t work out between you two, at least there was an effort on both sides. Communication is key! 3 ways to deal with first date jitters
- First dates are often fraught with nervousness and awkwardness; remember that everyone feels anxious when meeting someone new.
- There’s no need to overthink every word; just be yourself and have fun!
- If nerves overtake you, take deep breaths, smile often, make eye contact, relax your shoulders, and keep a positive attitude. Don’t try too hard; enjoy yourself and let nature take its course.
7. Trust Yourself
The number one thing you can do to overcome anxiety when dating someone new is to trust yourself. Many people with anxiety, especially those suffering from panic attacks or phobias, fall into obsessive thought patterns.
They think about their fears over and over again, and it becomes a cycle that’s difficult to break out of. However, if you take a step back and remind yourself that these thoughts are irrational, you’ll be able to move past them more quickly.
It’s also important not to make snap judgments about your date—you don’t know them well enough yet! Give things time before deciding whether they are suitable for you or not.
The next time you feel anxious, try writing down your negative thoughts on paper. Once they’re written down, read through them and pick apart each by asking yourself: Is there any evidence to support my fear? If there isn’t any evidence supporting your fear, why would you let it affect how you feel?
You might even want to ask a friend or family member what they think about what you wrote down.
8. Don’t compare your date to your ex
Comparing your current date with your ex is one of the best ways to trigger anxiety. Although it may be hard, try not to think about past relationships.
Not comparing can help you see your new partner as an individual instead of a replacement for someone else in your life.
It’s also important to remember that every relationship is different and unique, so don’t expect them all to follow a similar pattern.
You might have some good or bad experiences when dating someone new, but no experience will ever be exactly like other people.
9. Let yourself be happy
One of the anxiety’s most evident symptoms is that it makes you unhappy. It makes everything more difficult and uncomfortable than it needs to be.
So it would help if you learned how to overcome your anxiety enough to find happiness in your everyday life, rather than letting your worries run your life and make decisions for you.
If you feel like things are getting out of control, try one or two tips from above and see if they help. If not, seek professional help.
10. Feel less self-conscious
Being in an intimate situation with someone new may make you feel more self-conscious, but try not to let it get in your way. Focus on what makes you and your date comfortable.
Trust that your natural comfort will return soon and that you can enjoy yourself as time goes on. If you find something about your body or appearance that bothers you, consider finding a therapist who specializes in eating issues.
If money is tight, most therapists offer reduced rates for first sessions or payment plans, so don’t be afraid to ask! You deserve to have fun too!
11. Prepare for what might happen
Before getting involved with someone, consider what “okay” looks like for you. How does your potential partner fit into your current lifestyle? Are there things they do that trigger anxiety for you? If so, prepare yourself ahead of time to deal with those issues.
Maybe you don’t mind a glass of wine in someone else’s home but find it challenging to be around drunkenness. Be honest with yourself and plan accordingly.
You can also try journaling about these things to work through them before they become an issue. By planning out how you might react in various situations, you can devise strategies for coping if they happen.
12. Enjoy the moment
Don’t worry about how you’re coming across or what your date thinks of you. Instead, focus on enjoying your time together.
Focusing on enjoying yourself will relieve some of your anxiety and keep you from overthinking things that don’t matter. It also helps to remind yourself that it is normal for dating relationships to start slowly.
As long as you are having fun, you don’t need to rush into anything immediately. Enjoying each other’s company is one of the essential parts of a relationship.
13. Learn from Past Relationships
Now is not a time for dwelling on mistakes made in your past relationships, but you can use what you learned from those experiences to help build a successful future.
If you’ve never been in a serious relationship before, take some time and talk with your friends about their past experiences. Listen and learn from them!
You may have heard it before, but everyone is different, so be yourself and give new relationships time. If it doesn’t work out, that’s okay!
14. Give yourself time to feel comfortable
If you’re new to a relationship, don’t feel you have to jump into intimacy immediately. Intimacy should grow over time as you get to know someone better, so give yourself time.
If you’re feeling pressure from your partner or society about rushing into sex or specific activities, push back and take a breath before making any hasty decisions that might leave you uncomfortable in your skin.
15. Stop overthinking everything
Have you ever been on a date and felt so anxious, nervous, or scared that you couldn’t enjoy yourself? If so, that’s normal.
People who have suffered from anxiety disorder know how nerve-wracking it can be.
One of the best ways to overcome your anxiety is by accepting what you feel and identifying what causes these feelings.
Once you figure out why you’re feeling uncomfortable, try doing things that make you happy and help relieve stress.
For instance, if going out with friends helps calm your nerves, suggest meeting up with them before your next date. Or perhaps taking a long walk around town will help clear your head before going on another date.
Whatever works for you! The most important thing is to take care of yourself and do things that make YOU happy!
People with anxiety are often associated with being shy and introverted, but that doesn’t have to be the case!
Understanding how to overcome your anxiety when dating someone new can put you out there and show off your personality.
It will help you be more confident in approaching people, make it easier to ask them out on dates and give you tools to prevent your anxiety from forming connections with others.
You need to accept the feeling and be sincere about your emotions. Don’t be shy about whatever state you are in.
It would be best if you were vocal about how you feel!
Do you feel you are with the right person or not? Or you aren’t finding enough confidence in committing to love?
What are your thoughts about this? Share in the comments section below!