Most relationships start strong and exciting, filled with laughter and joy. But over time, lovers often fall into a routine.
For many lovers, one person may begin to feel like he or she is doing all of the work while his or her partner coasts through life unappreciative of everything being done for him or her.
What’s worse than a boring relationship? A boring relationship doesn’t seem to get any better no matter how hard you try.
Are you dreading the idea of another evening or weekend with your mate? Is your passion fizzling out and leaving you numb and distant toward your partner?
Then you might need to work on reigniting that spark! In this article, we’ll teach you how to fix your boring relationship by reinvigorating the fun in your life and reigniting the passion between you and your mate.
Why do relationships get boring after a while?
When a relationship becomes routine, it is easy for someone to feel bored in such a relationship. The excitement of dating or early phases of a relationship can quickly fizzle out as you get comfortable with your partner and begin taking them for granted. According to psychologists, it takes a conscious effort on both sides to keep a relationship exciting and engaging. Keep these tips in mind to save your relationship from becoming boring.
The longer the relationship lasts, it is easy for us to fall into certain routines that can be frustrating and difficult to change. The same holds in relationships.
You start getting uncomfortable when you spend a lot of time with your partner. And if you’re not careful, those feelings of boredom will seep into your relationship and potentially ruin what could have been something wonderful.
5 reasons why relationships get boring after a while
1. The excitement of dating or early phases of a relationship can quickly fizzle out as you get comfortable with your partner and begin taking them for granted.
2. You may not be aware that your partner is getting bored, so you don’t know how to improve it.
3. You might have been in denial about how much time you spend together, which can lead to feelings of resentment and lack of independence.
4. There are times when your partner may be bored with their job or disappointed by other aspects of their life.
5. You may have been so focused on your relationship that you’ve neglected other aspects of your life, such as family and friends.
Signs of a Boring Relationship
It’s never fun to discover your relationship is boring. Maybe you have been together for years, you just got engaged, or you are still on your first date with someone who claims they’re The One. Whatever stage of a relationship you find yourself in, when you realize it has gotten boring, it can be difficult and feel impossible to come up with ways that will improve it.
When you have these 7 indications, then your relationship gets boring
- You don’t want to spend time together
If you dread plans with your partner, it’s a sign that something isn’t right. It could be that you are too busy with work or other commitments, but if there isn’t any other reason, it might be time to reassess things.
- You find yourself not being attracted to your partner.
If you have been in a relationship for a while, it’s normal that your feelings will change over time. But if you feel less and less attracted to your partner over time, you could be bored with them and need some excitement back in your life.
- You are fighting over things that don’t matter.
When you feel like you are constantly arguing with your partner about pointless issues, it’s a sign that something more serious is going on underneath. It could be boredom or a real problem in your relationship that needs to be addressed.
- You don’t want to make your relationship official.
If you have been with someone for a while and aren’t sure whether or not you want to commit, it could be because you are bored of your relationship. It is normal for people to question their feelings over time, but if there isn’t a good reason, it could be boredom.
- You don’t feel like you can be yourself around your partner.
If you feel like you have to put on a show around your partner, then it could be that they are boring, and you are just going through the motions in your relationship. Being with someone who doesn’t make you feel comfortable enough to be yourself is never a good sign.
- You find yourself comparing your relationship to others.
If you constantly look at other people’s relationships and wish that yours was more like theirs, it could be a sign that your relationship is boring. Of course, it’s normal for people to look at other lovers and wish they had what they have, but if you find yourself doing it all the time, there might be something wrong with your relationship.
- You find yourself spending more time with friends than your partner.
If you find yourself hanging out with friends more than your partner, it could signify that you are bored in your relationship. It’s normal for people to spend time with their friends after work or on weekends, but it could be a problem if you are doing it all the time and not spending enough time with your partner.
So how do you keep a relationship from becoming boring? It would be best if you worked at it consciously. You can’t just sit back and expect everything to be fine because it won’t be.
How to Fix a Boring Relationship
1. Surround yourself with positive people
We all need people in our lives who are supportive and uplifting. When you feel down, they lift you. If it’s true that misery loves company, positive people have the opposite effect—they drive away depression.
Studies show that happiness and positivity are infectious; we tend to pick up on these emotions from others around us and pass them along. If your friends don’t make you feel good about yourself, find some new ones!
They can be hard to come by sometimes, but when you find a few people with whom you connect deeply, hold onto them for dear life. They will help keep your relationship happy and healthy.
Research shows that positive people are more likely to stay in relationships—and happier ones at that! If you want your relationship to last, surround yourself with those who make it better.
2. Plan a fun date together often
Instead of spending another night watching Netflix, take your date somewhere exciting. Find a local hike, go bowling or try your hand at making cocktails. These activities will get you out of your routine and give you something interesting to discuss when you’re finished.
Be sure to have fun! You don’t want your relationship to become stale because you’ve stopped trying new things together. If you want more ideas to make your relationship exciting again, check out our complete guide on how to keep a relationship fresh.
3. Communicate with your partner more
Communication is always top of mind when finding ways to save a relationship. It’s simple—we all want good relationships with our significant others, so we make sure we talk about how we’re feeling and what we’re regularly thinking.
We ask each other questions, offer advice and show support in our words and actions. So why don’t they do that for us? The answer is: they usually do…as long as you ask them.
Next time you’re together, ask him or her what they think about where your relationship is going.
The follow-up question—do you have any suggestions for how we can move forward?—it lets them know you’re open to their ideas and provides space for them to put any worries or concerns on the table without feeling judged.
It makes it easier for your partner to communicate with you, which can help save your relationship.
4. Come up with the idea of doing something fun together
“When things get boring, there needs to be an effort made to make things fun and exciting again,” says Jason Karley, LCPC, LFMT and licensed psychotherapist.
It’s a great way for both of you to be invested in your relationship and try something new that you can enjoy together as lovers, so if it’s been a while since your last date night, spice things up with an interesting outing or group activity.
It’s important to get out of your comfort zone and do something outside your normal routine together. If you usually watch television after dinner, take a break from your favorite shows and do something else:
- Walk along a lake.
- Go to a bar and listen to live music.
- Try an entirely new restaurant.
- Be Thoughtful and Attentive to Each Other Every Day
In a relationship, both parties should be thoughtful and remember that the other person might be more than just willing to listen to your rant.
Remember little details about his day, ask him about something he mentioned last week, and call or text him for no particular reason to let him know you care about him.
Over time, those little gestures will accumulate, and he’ll be made to feel special by you. Merely uttering I love you every once in a while- even if there isn’t a holiday or occasion- may get him on your side.
It may seem weird, but if you say them when you mean it, studies show people who use these three words the most experience higher satisfaction and commitment later in life.
Just talk to her more about what you both want. If it sounds okay to both of you, you’re in luck!
However, if either of you wants something different or is not vocal, there could be a disappointment later on.
5. Make plans for a vacation together
Taking time off can help you get your perspective back when you feel stuck in a rut. A vacation is a great way to spend time with your partner, explore something new together, and get reacquainted.
A vacation doesn’t have to be expensive or far away—just enough time away from daily distractions to enjoy each other’s company.
However, you choose If money is tight, there are many ways to create a memorable experience without breaking your budget. You could try camping, staying at home, or even just making a day of it at home.
The important thing is that you can both relax and enjoy yourselves.
6. Invest in yourself and your life
It’s easy to focus all your time and energy on making your partner happy. You want them to be happy, and you don’t want them to be upset. But remember, they have their own lives.
Once you find that your life isn’t just about pleasing your partner, things start getting better for you.
You can get into hobbies, passions, and a social circle outside work and spend more time doing what makes you happy. Doing this doesn’t mean you should stop spending time with your partner or make yourself unhappy.
If you aren’t spending enough time in some parts of your life, try adding those in. Don’t forget about yourself!
7. Together, Overcome a Fear
Some of our biggest relationship fears (e.g., rejection, intimacy, disapproval) stem from simple things we’ve experienced as children. Think about your earliest memories.
If you can remember a situation where you felt exposed and afraid, explore how it has affected your relationships now. Share some deep-seated fears, but don’t worry—you won’t have to face them alone!
You can overcome them together. For example, you might be embarrassed by insecurities that make you avoid asking someone out on a date. The more vulnerable you are in sharing these feelings with your partner, however, will make it easier for him or her to share their vulnerabilities with you.
Studies show that lovers who openly discuss their deepest insecurities tend to feel closer and experience greater trust in their relationship than those who do not.
You may better identify and solve any concerns and use proactive techniques to keep passion and connection alive by realizing that boredom is a natural part of relationships.
Boredom does not indicate that your relationship has ended, but it does indicate that it is time to breathe new life into it and make an effort to connect on a deeper level.
These 7 powerful tips will help you to find your way back to the top in your relationship. Learn how to try out new things that can trigger more excitement in your relationship.
What new stuff do you think you can implement? Share your opinions in the comment section below.