Are you caught up in a toxic, unhealthy relationship with a man having trust issues? I understand it can be daunting dating a guy with trust issues.
Relax, we got you covered!
Human has a natural tendency to trust and to judge other individual trustworthiness. It can be considered a personality trait and one of the strongest forecasters of one’s wellbeing. Also, it enhances the quality of one’s healthy and stable relationship.
Trust is the foundation of most long-lasting relationships, but sometimes the foundation becomes shaky due to a lack of trust.
Many aspects of a relationship can be bargained, but trust is possibly the most important unwritten rule for a secure and successful relationship. Even the most intriguing relationships fall apart when there is a lack of trust.
That’s the fact.
Nevertheless, there is numerous experience that contributes to your man trust issues. These painful experiences leave an unseen scar and profoundly affect his life.
Let’s figure out possible clues to know what can cause his trust issues.
What Is The Source Of Your Partner’s Trust Issues?
Trust issues are a significant cause of relationship breakdown, and they eat away a relationship’s attractiveness.
“Green explained that people with trust difficulties aren’t born with them,” Green explained. “They grow distrustful resulting from a series of events leading them to believe that partners cannot be trusted.”
Additionally, trust issues might arise due to specific events that occurred during your partner’s childhood. Perhaps he overheard his parents fighting at one another or saw one parent betray the other? This is the fundamental explanation behind most people’s lack of trust.
Another factor contributing to his lack of trust is his past experiences in a relationship. It can be the last romantic relationship that causes harm.
Also, trust issues can arise if your man is suffering from low self-esteem, anxiety, despair, or loneliness.
Essentially, individuals employ defense mechanisms to avoid suffering the same fate as before. On the other hand, this strategy causes greater pain by preventing a person from being a part of a loving and healthy relationship.
Signs You Are Dating a Guy with Trust Issues
Have you ever wondered why his lovely attentiveness transforms into an obsessive devotion when things go wrong?
It doesn’t feel like he treasures and cherishes you anymore; instead, it feels like he has an oppressive possessiveness toward you. It takes all of your energy to reassure your boyfriend that you love him (and then reaffirm him repeatedly), and it’s exhausting your life!
Anyway, there’s no need to be anxious because I’ve meticulously compiled 15 symptoms he’s experiencing trust issues in this article. All you need is to watch for the following hints (seems too simple, right?). The more you notice these in your man, the more you can be sure he’s having trust difficulties!
1. He stalks your social media
It’s a lot of fun to date a guy who likes to follow you on social media, and it can even boost your self-esteem if your partner enjoys supporting your pages.
However, there is a clear difference between visiting your social media pages to show support and stalking you to keep track of everything you do.
He knows when you submit a Facebook status update, a tweet, or an Instagram photo. He always knows what you’re up to since he follows you around. Also, if he finds out what you’re up to on Facebook and you didn’t tell him before publishing it for all to see, he might be irritated.
You can tell from these scenarios that he’s keeping up with you like a Kardashian, and there’s just something a little creepy about being stalked. However, you’ll get to know that there are some trust issues. He is most likely taking note of who your pals are, who likes your social media posts, and where you’re going.
2. He asks to check your phone.
Demanding to review your text messages and call logs, in particular, is a telltale indicator of your boyfriend who won’t believe you when you say you’re not doing the dirty on him behind his back.
He could casually inquire who you’re texting, or he could demand to see your phone directly. Even if you’re only reading your business email or texting a girlfriend, he typically thinks you’re hiding something from him when you’re on your computer or mobile phone.
Also, perhaps your lover has asked to view your phone, or you’ve caught him staring at it as you exit the shower. In either case, it’s a clear indication he doesn’t trust you. He might even go about it in a devious manner.
“They don’t want you to know they’re watching you, so they do it in a non-intrusive manner. This could indicate that they don’t trust you or have trouble trusting you.” According to Dr Michael.
3. He needs to know your whereabouts
The whereabouts question, according to Dr Michael, is a significant consideration. Even if the question isn’t direct and they’re attempting to get information from others.
Your man’s persistent monitoring of everything you do and wherever you go is another clue that he doesn’t trust you, even after establishing your trustworthiness.
Your man will usually be fascinated with your schedule, including the individuals who are a part of it, since he expects you to utilize any spare time you have to be with him. It’s one thing for him to be interested in your life, but when he toes the border into the Elder Brother zone and keeps a copy of your itinerary and travel times in his diary, it’s an issue you have to deal with.
4. He gets obsessed with seeing you every day
Within minutes of your departure after your first date, he texts you that he misses you. His interest seems nice at first. Everyone loves to be adored. It doesn’t take much thought for his obsessive attention to overwhelm you.
He expects to see you every day and is irritated if you have other commitments that prevent him from seeing you. If you have to work, run errands, or see a colleague and can’t go out with him, he makes you feel guilty.
Besides, if your boyfriend does not trust you, he is more likely to strive to cling to your side. He’ll want to keep an eye on what you’re doing, even if it appears that he can’t get enough of you.
When your boyfriend wants to spend a lot of time with you, it’s not necessarily bad. However, there is a good balance between time paid together and time spent away, seeing friends and family, and enjoying time alone in most relationships.
5. He is jealous of your friends.
Friendships may wreak havoc on relationships. Even the friendliest and most sincere friends can sometimes provoke fights, especially in relationships where one person has trouble trusting the other.
If he won’t let you see your friends, go out with them, or contact them while he’s not around, it’s a clue that he has trust difficulties. He prevents you from having time with your pals.
He disapproves of you meeting coworkers for happy hour after work, going shopping with girlfriends, or having platonic connections with guys. He repeatedly calls and messages to see how you’re doing when you’re out without him.
Initially, his possessiveness may make you feel special and desired at first. However, such possessiveness will irritate you after a while since you’ll feel like you can’t do anything with your girlfriend without provoking him.
6. He talks about his past relationship and how he was cheated upon
Knowing about your boyfriend’s previous dating and romance experiences can help you better grasp how his mind works now. Also, it clarifies why he’s sensitive to things that other guys would dismiss. With that, he needs a little additional confirmation from time to time that he can trust you.
He claims his ex-girlfriends never truly loved him. He believes that he was the innocent victim in every previous relationship.
Everyone despised him, and they took advantage of him and cheated on him. This could be factual and the source of his insecurity or in his head due to insecurity.
His tales of sorrow will tug at your emotional strings if you’re a caring person who feels compelled to protect and champion the disadvantaged. You may resolve that you will never abandon or harm him. However, if you don’t want to be guilted into sticking in a poor relationship, take his exes’ stories as a caution.
7. He interrogates you
If you feel like you are on an episode of question and answer when you return home from a night out party with your pals, it’s pretty evident that he doesn’t trust you, and he has reservations about your sincerity. Besides, he will want to question you about almost everything you do and keep track of every detail.
However, if he’s cunning, he might avoid directly asking you those questions but instead rely on his forensic work. He questions you about everything, and while you answer, they ask more questions or seem not to be pleased with your answer.
He could look into your life behind your back in various methods, including using social media, talking to mutual acquaintances, and, in extreme situations, contacting other places like your workplace reception or a neighborhood pub to make sure everything you say is true.
8. He silences you with attention and gifts.
Receiving sweet “good morning” texts and having someone call you to check in and see how your day is going is one of the finest elements of being in a relationship. Also, receiving lots of impressive gifts can be so overwhelming.
On the other hand, constant calls and messages are inconvenient and a symptom that he does not trust you. His incredible thoughtfulness sweeps you off your feet at first. However, after a while, you doubt his extravagant presents and attentiveness.
Is he giving you things because he loves you or wants to purchase your adoration and assure you won’t leave him?
This might be his strategy of constantly monitoring what you’re doing and determining your actual location based on how long it takes you to respond. He might also want to remind the individuals in your life that you’ve taken subtly.
9. He needs constant validation.
Everyone likes to be told they’re loved, gorgeous, talented, sexy, bright, and wanted, but his requirements are different from yours. He has low self-esteem, which is the driving factor behind most of his insecure attitudes.
He constantly asks you, “Do you love me?” and other such scrutinizes.
Also, he’s looking for compliments. Then, when you tell him you think he’s attractive, he won’t believe you.
When you’ve done everything you can, and still he isn’t satisfied, the issue is likely entrenched deep within him. It would be best to gain trust, but you should not feel like you are on trial for the rest of your life.
10. He says NO to male friends.
A guy with trust issues may be concerned about female friends, but it will be little compared to how he will feel about male pals. If your spouse is a man with trust difficulties, he will not want you to hang out with other men.
He won’t approve of seeing, contacting, or spending too much time with your male pals, especially when he isn’t present.
The bottom conclusion is that he’ll assume that you and a male friend are having an affair, even if you’ve given him no cause to believe so.
11. It feels like he wants to have control over you.
Insecurity thrives at the heart of many trust issues, and your partner who is dealing with it will often prioritize his own needs over yours. It also happens quite repeatedly when your partner needs to keep you under control and constrain your social interactions with others.
There may be exciting things in life that you want to do, such as establishing a business, learning something new, or exploring, and good partners will compel you to do so.
Yet your spouse, who suffers from insecurity and lacks trust, on the other hand, would only think about how these issues affect him. Nevertheless, he’d instead retain you stuck in a loop so he can keep an eye on you and then encourage you to embark on fresh and exciting adventures.
12. He is susceptible to criticism.
No one likes being criticized, but your insecure man takes even the gentlest, most honest criticism personally.
He has low self-esteem and can’t stand it when someone confirms his worst fears about himself by pointing out a potential weakness.
If you tell your spouse that he’s suffocating you and that you need some alone time, he’ll almost certainly turn the tables on you. He would turn it around rather than listening to your concerns, revealing his behavior, and committing to back off a little to give you some space.
13. He accuses you of a variety of unfounded allegations.
The first action is for him to let his imagination go wild, conjuring up all kinds of ridiculous scenarios. When he reaches this point, your partner who doesn’t trust you will start to believe his weird thoughts and accuse you of absurd things.
Even if it starts lightheartedly and jokingly, it’s still a clue that he doesn’t trust you if he makes statements accusing you of hurting him implicitly or explicitly.
He’s always expecting you to hurt him because he doesn’t trust you, and he wants to be a bit ahead at all times.
Moreover, he is unyielding in his refusal to accept no for an answer. When your lover believes you can’t be trusted, he may find it challenging to comprehend when his allegations are disproved.
14. He believes you are unfaithful.
He can’t get rid of the feeling that you’re having an affair outside of him. He can accuse you of having a fling with the waiter, having relations with a coworker, or even admiring someone attractive.
It’s not that he does not even trust you; it’s more that he believes he’s not perfect enough for you, and it’ll only be a matter of time before you find someone better.
Also, even if you’ve been separated/divorced from your ex-boyfriend, and he sees you with him or even comments on your social media post, he’s confident you are unfaithful to him.
15. He has a pessimistic attitude towards women generally.
It’s not always a private issue when your partner has trust concerns. He will believe that all women are unworthy of his trust in many circumstances, rather than just you.
Moreover, if you hear him say things like women can’t be trusted, are apt to cheat, are cold-hearted, or something similar, it’s possible he’s dealing with personal issues that he’s projecting onto half of the world’s population.
Are you wondering if it’s still possible to make your relationship work with the signs you see in your man?
Let’s explore how to win his trust and get him assured!
How to Get Him Assured
The importance of trust cannot be overstated. It’s one of the essential tenets of any successful relationship. However, having a partner with trust issues does not rule out the possibility of a healthy relationship. Instead, it adds to the difficulties.
Therefore, if you want to build trust and find out what to do if your lover doesn’t trust you, thus you should use the tips in this section.
However, bear in mind that this will be a long (perhaps life-long) process with peaks and troughs.
● Approach him with honesty
Trust takes time to be earned, and in this case, it can be acquired the hard way. Because you can’t change your partner, this is an area where you may actively attempt to enhance your relationship by being trustworthy, honest, and caring. Always be on time, and calling when you say you’ll call may seem insignificant, but it can mean a lot to your spouse.
Even though you’re not doing anything, secretly checking your phone or vanishing for hours without disclosing your whereabouts will arouse suspicions.
● Be patient
You can’t just say “you can trust me” and expect everything to work out, but It takes time to see the result.
It’s easier for you to be self-assured and know that you’ll never leave your lover or cheat on him. However, if his ex-messed with him behind his back, he may become hyper-aware of any hint that you are cheating.
You can establish something solid if you go slowly and steadily.
● Show more love and positive reassurance.
Empathy, compassion, and loving support will show that you are more than just words. He has undoubtedly been mistreated in the past, possibly several times. However, some genuine affection and support may be challenging to accept at first and even more challenging to adjust to as time goes on. Don’t stop now!
Yet, if you can prove to your lover that you can be there for him through the good and bad times, he will eventually let you in.
Whether your partner’s lack of trust is justified or not, getting to the bottom will need dialogue. If your boyfriend has trust issues, you can address them jointly or with the assistance of a therapist, friends, or family.
Besides, it’s crucial to have someone you can count on for help or advice.