Isn’t this yet another pandemic amidst the occurrence of Covid-19? – Abusive relationships.
Abusive relationships keep multiplying by the day. Research even shows that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 10 men have gone through some form of violence by their intimate partner.
There are more than 20,000 phone calls on domestic violence hotlines daily. More people are going through torment and terror in their love relationships. Sadly, both women and men are becoming victims.
Is your relationship abusive?
What if your relationship is a budding nightmare?
What if your partner is one step to abusing and suffering you?
Then, how do you know if you are not in the right relationship?
It’s expedient to watch out for the signs and know if your relationship is truly abusive. There are ways to detect and know if the love you share with your partner deserves to be forgone.
While it’s possible to spot the signs of an abusive relationship after being in one, that’s not always the case. For example, some people may be so desperate to find love that they don’t notice early warning signs, such as nagging and belittling.
This article has 10 cut and clear warning signs of an abusive relationship. Read on!
10 Warning Signs to Look Out For in an Abusive Relationship
1) Verbal Abuse
Communication is a vital part of any healthy relationship, but verbal abuse and yelling can be hurtful—and even toxic. If you suspect your partner is using their words as weapons against you, you must stand up for yourself and seek out help.
A few signs that your relationship is abusive: When your partner yells at you or constantly puts you down in front of others. Or if they try to control what you do, who you see, or where you go. These are all signs of an unhealthy relationship.
It’s not always easy to spot an abusive partner—but if something feels off in your relationship, take action before things get worse. Talk to someone you trust about your concerns, and reach out to local resources for support.
A healthy relationship shouldn’t make you feel bad about yourself. If your partner makes you feel unsafe, anxious, or worthless—or if they constantly undermine your self-confidence—it’s time to get out.
Leaving an abusive relationship can be incredibly difficult and involve seeking outside help. Find a therapist specializing in domestic violence, call a helpline, or visit The National Domestic Violence Hotline for advice and resources specific to your situation.
2) Constant Jealousy
The most obvious sign of an abusive relationship is constant jealousy. If your significant other constantly accuses you of cheating or even threatens violence, it’s worth looking at what’s going on. Being in this situation could be dangerous and should be resolved soon.
Don’t let fear keep you from leaving—if someone is threatening violence, they might not stop with just words. And don’t stay because you feel guilty for hurting someone who claims to love you; if anything, they are hurting themselves by being in such a toxic relationship. You deserve better than abuse.
It’s important to remember that staying in an abusive relationship doesn’t make you weak—and leaving isn’t cowardly. You deserve happiness, safety, and respect. You can get those things without sacrificing yourself or allowing another person to walk all over you. Trust yourself and take action before it gets worse.
Sometimes relationships aren’t always so clear-cut. If you find yourself questioning whether or not your relationship is healthy, consider getting help from a professional. Talk to friends and family about your feelings or talk to a therapist about any fears or concerns.
Many resources are available for people who want to break out of unhealthy relationships—don’t try to do it alone!
3) Lack of Trust
An abusive relationship is often characterized by one partner not trusting their significant other. When your significant other asks you what you’re doing, why you’re going out, where you are and with whom, it can feel like a violation of your personal space and privacy.
Their lack of trust in your intentions can make you doubt yourself and wonder if there’s something wrong with who you are. This type of behavior is incredibly damaging to self-esteem and causes people to question their values.
If you feel that your significant other doesn’t trust you, they may be abusing you emotionally. Talk to someone about how you feel; while an abuser will try to keep their victim isolated from friends and family, many abuse victims have found support in talking with others about how they feel.
You deserve love and respect—never settle for less than that. If you feel that your significant other isn’t respecting you, speak up! Tell them how their actions make you feel. Never accept being treated poorly because that’s how [they] is.
4) Financial Abuse
An abusive partner may use finances as a tool of abuse. They may force you to quit your job or refuse to give you access to your own money.
A controlling partner may also use money as a weapon: threatening to leave if you don’t give them money, for example, or refusing payback on an awry investment.
Financial abuse can be hard to recognize because it doesn’t always involve direct contact—in fact, it often happens in secret. But financial control is still very much a form of domestic violence and can have devastating effects on victims. If you think your partner might be abusing you financially, reach out to someone who can help.
If your partner is making frequent threats, you’re in an abusive relationship. These can range from threatening to leave you or hurting yourself if you don’t change something about yourself or your behavior—all of which are examples of verbal abuse.
They can also be indirect threats that keep you from living your life (or living it on your terms). A classic example of a subtle threat would be when someone says, “If you leave me, I won’t be able to support myself and will have no choice but to kill myself”. The underlying message here is that he won’t be able to live without you; therefore, if you ever break up with him or try leaving him for good, he will do everything to make sure he doesn’t survive without you.
This behavior isn’t a healthy way to love or be loved. It’s emotional blackmail and one of many signs that you may be in an abusive relationship.
If you’re looking for a warning sign, spying on your significant other may indicate that your relationship is abusive.
While some of us might think that we’re catching our partners in an intimate moment with someone else, it can also be a sign that you need to take stock of how much trust is left in your relationship.
It’s one thing to check up on your partner from time to time; it’s another thing if they feel like they have no privacy or have to hide their personal life from you.
Do yourself and your partner a favor and talk about what makes them feel comfortable and what doesn’t—and then stick by those rules. A healthy relationship should bring you closer together, not push you apart.
Checking e-mail, Facebook messages, voicemail – these are all things that are potentially worth investigating if you find yourself doing them frequently.
You don’t want to look at something private without permission, but sometimes a casual “Hey, are you doing okay? I just got worried because I haven’t heard from you in days…” could ease both of your minds when there isn’t anything wrong.
If it turns out there is something wrong, it can be an opportunity for you and your partner to discuss what’s going on and how you can help each other through it. If they don’t want to talk about it or seem uncomfortable with you asking questions about their personal life, that might be another sign of an abusive relationship.
7) Emotional Blackmail
In a one-on-one situation, emotional blackmail is often used by your partner to get you to do something you don’t want to do.
Emotional blackmail might involve using guilt, threatening suicide, or starting rumors about you. Examples include, “You know how bad my anxiety gets when I’m in crowds—don’t make me go! If I can’t go with you, it means we aren’t together anymore”. Or “if you loved me, you wouldn’t make me do that”.
The only way out of an abusive relationship is if both partners are willing to work through their issues and problems together. But if there’s no sign of change from your partner, then it may be time to walk away for good.
If you find yourself being blackmailed into doing things against your will, try asking yourself whether or not you would be doing them if they weren’t being forced upon you.
If not, stand up for yourself. Letting someone else control what you do isn’t love; it’s abuse.
8) Breaking Trust in Relationships
Trust is the foundation of every relationship, but when it’s broken, and you can’t trust your partner, that relationship quickly erodes into an abusive one. If you think you might be in an abusive relationship (emotional or physical), here are some signs to look out for. Get out of any bad relationships now before they get worse!
Don’t let yourself become another statistic! Learn from others’ mistakes! Please do not wait until things get bad; it will be too late by then. You may have already been brainwashed into thinking that abuse is normal or tolerable and don’t realize how damaging it is.
It takes time to recognize abuse, especially if you have never experienced it before. The longer you stay in an abusive relationship, the more damage will occur—both physically and emotionally—and it could take years to recover from those wounds.
9) No Respect/Apologies
Sometimes, abusive relationships get physical. And sometimes they don’t. Sometimes, they’re verbal and non-physical, though no less harmful. If your significant other constantly belittles you or embarrasses you in public, or if they refuse to apologize when wronged by you. It could be a sign of a toxic relationship. It might also mean that they don’t respect you enough to treat you with basic decency. Be wary.
The next step is not good for your emotional well-being. The next step is breaking up—and getting out as soon as possible. There are plenty of people who will love you and treat you well; there’s no reason to stick around someone who won’t do so.
No matter how much you care about them. No matter how long you’ve been together. No matter what the excuses are:
- “I was drunk! I didn’t know what I was doing! “I didn’t mean it!
- They deserved it! It was just a joke! I would never hit anyone unless they were threatening me! etc.).
You deserve better than that, and if your partner can’t recognize that fact, he’s being an asshole.
An abuser will use threats, insults, and other forms of intimidation to control their partner. For example, an abuser may yell at you in public or destroy your possessions to keep you from leaving.
They may also threaten to harm pets or people close to you if you try to leave them. This abuse is about power and control; if an abuser feels threatened by your attempt at independence, they’ll try everything they can to bring you back under their thumb.
The best thing you can do is remove yourself from a situation where you feel intimidated. If you can’t be alone—like if you live with your abusive partner—make sure that there are trusted friends and family members who know what’s going on in case things escalate.
Remember: even though it might be scary, staying away from an abusive relationship is often the best option for physical and emotional safety.
Sometimes, the love you once cherished suddenly turns into a mishap. You find out the monstrous abusive habits of your partner, and you’re heartbroken. Yet, you wish it could change.
The best action point now is for you to leave and get some help. Don’t hesitate to scrutinize each of these behaviors. Watch out if your partner begins to yell at you unnecessarily. If he deprives you of joy and peace, it’s not worth it.
Ending such a relationship comes with pain, but it’s also a step toward healing. These 10 warning signs show you ways your partner could have pulled up.
Which of these signs have you been noticing in your relationship? How have they been manifesting? Share your answers in the comments section below.